Woohoo!
I now have both an “account number” and an “order number” from Alienware. I really shouldn’t be so happy about being $150 poorer. Alienware’s “critical issues” team for the win.
Yet more departments, progress
I’m now speaking with yet another department at Alienware, I’ve lost count of how many that makes (at least 7, I think). Progress seems to be coming though, I have now at least been given a price. Turns out that $150 includes a 250Gb drive, which is a reasonable deal assuming 7200rpm SATA. My eBay keyboard-for-parts arrived as well; my ‘F’ key is now fully functional and I even have a spare ‘U’ key if the machine decides to try and complete the salute.
If I can get a drive, and if the machine can boot Windows off it with relatively little hassle (that is the point after all, and it does list both IDE0 and IDE1 in the BIOS), this machine might just be staying after all – the 8800GTX is hard to compete with. Now, if only I could get a linux driver for the AlienFX so I can make it change colour as an email alert…
Giving up
I took another look at the box that this machine was shipped in (did I mention that it was the full original packaging, with all manuals and accessories?) and found what might be a serial number on a couple stickers. Tried to call Alienware to confirm, but they still don’t want to talk to me – the line is now explicitly and emphatically “If you didn’t buy the machine from us, we can’t help you with *anything*”. If anyone knows what an Alienware serial number looks like, can you confirm whether LL-NNNNNNL (L for letter, N for number) is a serial number? It’s in a couple of places on the box.
Either way, I’ve just spent $18.33 on eBay for a broken Alienware laptop keyboard – don’t care if it works or not as long as the F key is still attached. I’m gonna swap it over then put the machine up for sale – I don’t want to deal with this any more. I need a machine that “just works” with a warranty that will mean the machine “just gets fixed” when it’s broken. In my experience that means Dell, but I’m also considering Lenovo.
I want a 15″ machine, preferably with a smartbay equivalent, that has a halfway decent NVidia card in it – anything that’ll do CUDA and VDPAU (aka PureVideo) should work. Suggestions are welcome.
Serial numbers
Here’s a thought. The fact that this machine has no serial number is apparently a big deal for Alienware. They clearly have a problem with the theft of their computers; it must be fairly serious if they are turning away legitimate customers for exactly this issue. That being the case, why do they make it possible to remove the serial numbers? Why only put it on an easily-removable sticky label when Dell have been putting serial numbers into the BIOS for years now?
Why, exactly, is Alienware responding to the theft of its products by alienating its customers with crappy customer service practices, when it has at its disposal the solution to the problem?
One simple reason. If you buy Alienware and your computer gets stolen, there’s a non-zero probability that you will buy another Alienware. If your computer is returned to you, you won’t need to buy anything to replace it – and Alienware makes exactly zero money.
Alienware makes more money if its machines are easy to steal.
So tell us Alienware, how much of a problem do you actually have with people stealing your computers? Is it bad, in which case you should by now have adopted Dell’s serial-number-in-the-BIOS technology, or is it not so bad and you’ve just decided that the second-hand market is not worth your time?
I think I’m going to mail their CEO now.
Monday again
Possible progress on a couple of fronts today.
Rosemarie from Alienware’s “Community Forums” team has contacted me and offered to do what she can to help. Community Forums makes the fifth department at Alienware that I’ll have talked to – here’s hoping she’s more successful than the others.
I’ve retrieved contact information for the eBay seller, and tried to call him (you know you can retrieve contact information for anyone on eBay you’ve traded with, right?). Got voicemail. Will try again later, but everything checks out so far – contact details all match (eBay, Paypal, shipping label) as well as account names and whatnot. Looks legit so far, we’ll see if the seller calls me back.
Finally (and with thanks to Dave, if he’s reading) I now have an email address for Alienware’s co-founder and CEO, Alex Aguila. I’ll give Rosemarie and the seller a couple of days to do their things, then fire off an email.
So yeah, no actual progress yet but wheels are still turning. Back to the “wait and see” game…
Not a happy computer.
This machine doesn’t like me. A key just came off. I kid you not, my computer just threw it’s ‘F’ key at me. I went to type “if” and it went *PING*. This is getting surreal.
I guess I’m looking to get a warranty repair after all. This should be fun.
A few clarifications
Quick update to clear up a few things here.
- I’m not after support, upgrades, warranty service, or anything that requires me to open the machine up. I’m after a drive tray that’s supposed to be trivially easy to swap out for something else – that’s the whole point of a “smart bay”.
- The seller *cannot* transfer ownership of the machine to me, according to Alienware technical support. He has to add me as an authorized user of his account. I was very clear with the tech support rep when I queried this point, and he was insistent. As a professional security geek I don’t think that’s a reasonable request, so I’m putting the ball in Alienware’s court to offer an alternative.
- Dell (Alienware’s parent company) not only allow you to self-certify ownership transfer, but the warranty gets transferred as well.
- The machine has no serial number on it, no identifying marks (that I can see) of any kind other than the Vista license. The Alienware customized nameplate was removed, as I expected it to be (it would have gone in the trash anyway, most likely).
- By day, I’m the Team Lead for the Global Information Security Research and Testing Team at eBay; my team is responsible for a wide range of anti-fraud activities at eBay. If it does turn out that this machine has a “colourful” history then it will be returned to its rightful owner, Paypal will refund my money (in accordance with the terms of their guarantee), I will buy something other than an Alienware next time, and I will see to it personally that whoever stole it is prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.
Alienware Responds
Just got this from the fourth department at Alienware I’ve spoken to (that being their “Feedback Team”). They asked for a “warranty number” that doesn’t actually appear on the machine anywhere; when I told them this their reply was:
“The reason we are asking for the system’s warranty number is to confirm that you purchased it through our Ebay Outlet Store at http://stores.ebay.com/Alienware-Corporation. Otherwise, we will not be able to provide you with replacements, upgrades, or support for this system.
So, buy a second-hand Alienware (that’s actually newer than the systems that they’re selling on their eBay store) and they will refuse you service initially because they think you’re a criminal, and then eventually because you didn’t buy the system from them. All this for a $5 bit of bent metal to allow me to plug in a second hard drive – that I was prepared to pay $150 for.
Anyone want to buy an Alienware laptop?
One chance
I’ve sent a snotty email to all the email addresses I could find for Alienware Corporate, hopefully one of the addresses will reach someone with a brain. The whole situation has pissed me off – they have refused my business because I might be a criminal. Offer them money and this is what happens?
I’ll give them until the weekend to respond. I’ve already gotten one autoreply, so if I don’t hear anything by Friday I’ll post the whole mess somewhere prominent and see what happens.
I really don’t get it. It’s an accessory. It’s one of those little doohickeys that you pick up at a garage sale for $5 because it might some day be useful; this one just happens to be the $150 “right” one. I’m still prepared to pay for the damned thing, but Alienware have refused my business until I can prove to them that I’m not a criminal. What is up with that?
Alienware don’t want your money…
I decided recently that it was time to upgrade my laptop. My little 13″ Dell has been a fine machine for a few years now, but it’s been showing its age and so a new machine was justifiable. I looked at a bunch of new machines from Dell and various other vendors, but ended up plonking a wodge of cash onto a nearly-new Alienware m15x from eBay. An 8800GTX in a 15″ form factor was just too good to turn down; a completely hassle-free transaction later and I became an Alienware owner.
Pretty soon it became apparent that despite the power of the graphics card, I was still going to have to dual-boot Windows. If you ever want to really hear me rant, ask me my views on DRM and copy-protection; the short version is that Windows is essential, so I wanted a second hard drive to avoid screwing with paritions or swapping drives. The m15x has a “smart bay”; it came with a both DVD burner and a spare battery, either of which can fit in the smart bay slot. I wanted to get a hard drive caddy for the smart bay – easy way to dual-boot without swapping drives or screwing with partitions. $150 buys you a caddy with a drive (with a new system), which seemed reasonable.
Problem is, my money is apparently not good enough for Alienware. Tech support, customer service, and pre-sales support have all refused to even give me a price, let alone take my money. Why? For “security reasons” they’re not allowed to speak to anyone but the registered owner of the system, despite the fact that all I’m trying to do is purchase a (universally compatible) accessory. Nowhere else that I’ve found sells them (the CSR I spoke to suggested eBay and newegg), and Alienware apparently don’t want my money.
Here’s the thing. Alienware is now owned by Dell; if you talk to their pre-sales staff using the “Alien Chat” on their website there’s Dell logos all over the place. Dell are happy to sell accessories to anyone with a credit card, and will allow you to self-certify that you’re the new system owner if you do want to discuss the actual machine itself with tech support. Why is Alienware so different? According to the CSR it’s because “the machines are so expensive”. Trust me, your average Alienware isn’t as pricey as some of the higher-end Dell models so that’s just bogus, and you don’t ever want to claim you’re doing something “for security purposes” when you’re talking to an experienced security consultant.
I’ve had great experiences with Dell tech support in the past. I’ve always bought the 3-year on-site warranty, and it’s only ever taken minor cajoling to get Dell support to follow through on that commitment. I’ve had several repairs done next-day, on-site, without any problems at all, and I’ve recommended Dell to many people solely for their warranty support. I won’t be recommending Alienware.
So, it seems my only option is to try and persuade the original seller to contact Alienware and “add my name to his account”. If he has other systems on that account then it’ll be “up to him to decide” what to do about it – this is all direct from Alienware tech support. All of this is assuming I can get the guy to do anything anyway – he has both his money and his feedback (rightly so, he performed admirably as an eBay seller) and hence no incentive to help. If he chooses not to help (or can’t help because he has other machines on his account) then I’m screwed, and stuck waiting for a used caddy to show up on eBay.
To anyone reading from Alienware – you are doing your customers a disservice by automatically assuming that they are criminals who have stolen their computers. You are also doing your shareholders (and Dell, your new owners) a disservice by refusing a legitimate sales transaction for no good reason. You have a product I wish to buy. Please, take my money. It’s right here – you can have it. It’s yours. Just tell me how much and where to sign. What does it matter what system it’s going into, you have products, I have money. Why is this such a difficult concept to grasp?